Dealing
by SpookyDude
Summary: After a long night, Wesley and Fred help each other sort some things out. Post Provider. Please r/r!


DISCLAIMER: I own nothing. Joss, ME, WB, etc… own everything.

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS: A huge thanks to Gen (who was probably my biggest supporter – thanks sooo much!), Jenna, Emmi, Marie, Vengeance Girl and everyone else who beta-read my fic. And also thanks to everyone at  Fan Forums who had to listen to me babble on about me writing a fic and how much I love Wes/Fred.  

AUTHOR'S NOTE: This is the first fic I have ever written, so if it's crap or a bit too fluffy or whatever, then I'm very sorry. Please review this, I'd REALLY appreciate it!!

Dealing

Wesley sat outside, in the Hyperion's garden gazing up at the three-quarter moon. It had been an interesting night to say the least, a night that involved zombies, near death and 50 thousand dollars. _Fred had almost been decapitated tonight Wesley thought. He shuddered to think what it would have been like to see Fred die._

Fred was very special to him. She fascinated him with her intelligence, and took his breath away with her beauty. Wesley wasn't sure if Fred even knew he existed, but this didn't faze him, he still longed for her in almost a school-boy manner. 

So at the thought of Fred's near-death experience, Wesley was unnerved. _She's fine though, I saved her, he smiled unconsciously at that thought. __Well, me and Gunn saved her. _

This made Wesley frown. He had begun to suspect that Gunn liked Fred; he was starting to feel this primal emotion telling him that Gunn was a rival for Fred's affections. He wasn't sure what was worse; the possibility of having to compete with his friend, or that fact that he was having these feelings at all. They were much too reminiscent of the time he was infected with Billy's blood and tried to kill Fred, the object of his desire. However, Wesley did not wish to dwell on that.

Wesley wasn't exactly sure what Gunn's intentions were towards Fred; all he knew was that when Gunn called Fred a 'hot mamma' Wesley didn't like it. He did not like it one bit.

Fred walked out of the side door of the hotel and saw Wesley sitting in the garden. Fred looked at him. She wasn't sure how she felt about him. At first Fred had liked Angel, she saw him as her handsome saviour, and swooned over him in a damsel-in-distress-like fashion. But any relationship could never work with him; he's a vampire and a cursed one at that. Fred found that she could accept that, because her liking of 

Angel wasn't real. She had been going through a post-traumatic experience and it was easy for her to latch onto the person that had saved her. Even if Angel suddenly turned around and said he wanted to be with her, Fred now felt that she wouldn't be interested.

Fred's feelings for Wesley had started out as mere friendship but began to develop into something more when she realised how comfortable she was around him and how nice and sweet he was _and how fine he looks in those pants. Fred blushed and stifled a giggle. It was true though, she did find Wesley to be quite attractive. He wasn't that classic, scene-stealing handsome like Angel. He was the quiet type of handsome, where you don't really realise how handsome he is until you take a good look at him. And when she thought about it, Fred found that she liked that kind of handsome better._

However, things between her and Wesley took a step back after the fiasco with Billy, when Wesley had tried to kill her. She didn't blame him however, she knew that he wasn't himself. It wasn't him, it was a demon affecting his actions. And she told him so, unfortunately Wesley remained unconvinced, and after that he began to close up. Fred understood this, he had his own issues to work through, in a way it made her like him even more – the fact that he cared so much, and he felt so bad about hurting her. Fred could still remember when she went to his apartment and he said "I'm so sorry". The way he said it and the look on his face were enough to break her heart. 

Now, however, things were back to normal between the two of them and once again her feelings towards the intelligent ex-watcher began to grow. Like tonight, when she had said "I could just kiss you", to her amazement she found herself half-hoping that he would.

After looking at Wesley for a while longer, she decided to join him on the bench.

"Hey." Fred said, sitting down next to Wesley.

"Oh! Fred, hello." Wesley replied, turning to her, startled out of his riviere. Out in the moonlight he noticed that she looked truly magnificent.

"Whatcha doing?" Fred asked innocently.

"Just sitting here… looking at the sky…" Wesley trailed off, staring back up at the sky.

"Thinking?" 

Quickly, he turned to look at her. He did not want to tell Fred that he had been thinking about her, so Wesley quickly made up an answer. "Actually no. At this point I'm quite happily not thinking."

Fred smiled that brilliant, infectious smile that she has and Wesley smiled back. "I know what you mean. It's been a real crazy night tonight." Fred commented, looking up at the sky.

"It certainly has – even before you were almost killed and needed to be saved." Wesley replied, smiling again.

"Thanks for that, by the way." She said. Suddenly she turned to him and asked "What else happened tonight?"

"Well, Gunn and I were helping this woman who was being stalked by her zombie ex-boyfriend." Wesley answered.

"Oh? That sounds morbidly interesting." She stated. Hints of her Texan accent, which always amused Wesley, came through as she spoke.

 "Oh it is. It turns out that he just wanted to continue dating her." Wesley responded.

"What?! Oh my goodness!" Fred cried.

Wesley grinned at her response and continued, "AND on top of that, it turns out she was the one that killed him by poisoning him-"

Fred gasped.

"-And he knew this, but he STILL wanted her back!" He exclaimed.

"So what happened?"

"They got back together." Wesley responded simply.

"No way! I don't believe it!" Fred exclaimed, totally bewildered.

Wesley shrugged. "I wouldn't have believed it either if I hadn't seen it for myself."

Fred was amazed. "Wow. A zombie dating his human killer. That's something only people with our lives would see.

Wesley and Fred looked at each other and shared a laugh. They quietened down and looked back up at the sky. After a while, Wesley broke the silence.

"So." He began.  "Are you ok now? You know, after the near decapitation?"

"I'm fine. This isn't the first time I was almost decapitated." Fred replied.

Wesley smiled. "Oh, that's right." He said. 

Once again they turned to each other, and laughed softly. Fred's melodious laughter rang in Wesley's ears, making him grin at her, which she returned joyfully. They returned their gaze towards the heavens and Wesley sighed.

"Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to live not knowing of the existence of demons. Would it be better or worse?" Wesley pondered.

"I… I don't know…" Fred responded uncertainly.

He spoke again. "Do you know that I actually can't remember a time when I didn't know about the paranormal?" He turned to Fred; she looked at him with eyes narrowed in concern. After a moment he continued. "So much of my life has been about the supernatural that it's almost as though I don't know where it all ends and I begin." 

With his eyes downcast, Wesley hung his head. "It's like I don't even know who I am anymore." He whispered dejectedly.

The pain and desperation in his voice gripped at Fred's heart. She desperately searched for the right words to make him feel better. Wesley noticed Fred's silence and looked up at her.

"It's ok, you don't have to respond to that." Wesley said, somewhat abashedly.

"No, I want to!" Fred assured him quickly. "I know what I want to say, I just don't know how to say it."

"Oh, all right." Wesley said softly. A hint of a smile tugged at his lips at her willingness to help him.

After a moment, Fred spoke excitedly. "Oh! Ok! I know how I'm going to say what I want to say." Fred smiled at him and once again, Wesley found that he couldn't help but smile back. 

"Ok, lay your wisdom on me Fred." Wesley said, half-jokingly.

This made Fred smile again. "Ok." The smile soon left her face as she grew serious and took hold of his hand. "As people go through life, they have experiences that change their lives and who they become." She began. "Demon-hunting has been this huge part of your life – but it's not _who_ you are – it's merely helped to shape you as a person, nothing more, nothing less. And that's not something you should be ashamed of. It's something you should embrace and be proud of. Wesley, you are a good man. You are an amazing person. You're kind, sweet, brave, nice, gentle, funny, intelligent…" She slowly listed, smiling. "And everyday you go out there and fight the forces of darkness and help the helpless. So be proud. Be proud of what you do, be proud of who you are. Trust in who you are, because you are truly wonderful." She finished softly.

Wesley remained silent, staring at Fred as he took in all that she had said. Fred stared back at him hopefully. She was worried that she may have overstepped any boundaries between them, but she couldn't help what had tumbled out of her mouth. She had been honest with him, and it all just felt so right.

"Fred." Wesley whispered hoarsely. "You are so…" he choked up with emotion. Suddenly, he hugged her tightly. She was shocked at first, but soon Fred found herself returning his warm embrace just as fiercely. "Thank you Fred." Wesley spoke into her hair. "Thank you so much."

"Oh, it was nothing." She replied softly.

The two remained in their embrace for a long time. Eventually they parted slowly, both feeling a little colder at the loss of physical contact. Before she could even think about what she was doing, Fred turned around and laid back against Wesley. She squeezed her eyes shut, silently praying that she hadn't gone too far. However, when she felt his hands come around her waist and clasp in the middle, her fears were laid to rest. She opened her eyes and smiled softly, placing her hands on top of his.

"Honestly Fred." Wesley spoke, breaking the silence. "I never realised how insightful you were."

"Well, when you spend five years all by yourself with nobody to talk to, it gives you a lot of time to think." She answered.

Wesley thought about this, unconsciously hugging Fred a little tighter. He thought back to when they had first rescued Fred from Pylea. She had been scared and overwhelmed by a world that she had almost forgotten after 5 years of being alone and hunted. She seemed to be getting better, but with Darla's pregnancy and the arrival of Angel's baby, plus the increase in work, Wesley wasn't able to really think about it in-depth. _What if she is silently suffering? Wesley thought. He looked down at her, snuggled peacefully in his firm embrace __No, she's fine… isn't she?_

"Fred, how are you dealing with all that has happened to you? Are you ok?" Wesley asked cautiously. He wasn't sure if this was something she was willing to talk about, but he figured the worst thing she could say to him was that she didn't want to talk about it.

Slowly Fred turned her head to look at Wesley "Yeah, I'm fine." She answered softly.  "I'm dealing."

 "That's good." He said in an up-beat tone.

"It's like I know that I'm not in Pylea anymore, so why obsess over it." She continued with more strength in her voice.

"Well that's a good way to look at it." Wesley responded encouragingly.

"But to be honest, I'm still not 'all better'." Fred started. "I mean, I'm ok. But I can't really think about what happened too much. Because when I think about what they made of me…" She trailed of not wanting to continue.

Wesley looked at her, worry and concern marring his handsome features. This was obviously something that Fred had never spoken to anyone about, but Wesley was determined. He now knew that this was something she _needed_ to talk about. So he gently coaxed her "What did they make of you Fred?"

Fred answered him slowly and quietly. "Worthless, meaningless, hopeless. They made me feel like nothing, like I was insignificant." She stopped for a moment as tears welled up in her eyes. "They made me scared, cowardly, they turned me into a crazy, babbling fool." Her tears began to fall, and between strangled sobs, she managed to mumble. "They broke me… and I keep wondering… when will I get fixed?"

The pain inside of her became too much for Fred to bear, so she let it all out. Wesley held her close as she sobbed the pain from her soul away. Wesley felt that he finally understood her situation. He saw what the problem was and he knew how to make her realise the solution. 

When tears her lessened and her anguish started to drain away, Wesley began to speak softly to her. "Do you know what the problem is?" He began. "You've dealt with what has happened, you're aware that it is all in the past, but what you haven't realised, is that you're better. You aren't that person you just described."

Fred took a moment to sit up and look at him. "I'm not?" She whispered.

"No, you're not." He said back. "Everyday I look at you and I see this extraordinary woman. All those things you said to describe me – I can use to describe you. You're smart, funny, kind, gentle, sweet, brave-"

"I'm not brave!" Fred interrupted quickly. "I-"

"Yes you are!" Wesley said loudly, cutting her off. "You're incredibly brave, you're one of the bravest people I know. And I can think of a few more things to describe you as well." He finished softly.

"Like what?" Fred asked, smiling.

"Graceful… beautiful." He answered, smiling back. "And important. Never, ever think that you are worthless, because you're not." He stated, seriously. "You're extremely important to the people in there…" He said, pointing to the hotel, "…and to me. You're really important to me."

"I am?" Fred whispered, leaning in.

Wesley also leaned in. "Yes, you are." He whispered back.

Wesley stared at Fred for a moment, and found her gazing back at him longingly. Before he could think about it for too long, Wesley closed the gap between them and kissed her softly, yet passionately. When the kiss ended, they parted and continued to stare at each other with wide eyes. Wesley was hoping that he hadn't scared her off, and Fred, who was amazed at the kiss, was wondering what to do now. Suddenly, she looked at Wesley and smiled her wonderful, infectious smile and he grinned back. Then, she brought her lips up to meet his in another passionate and fervent kiss.

~The End~


End file.
